The Human Centipede

Watching this travesty of a film I couldn't help but be reminded of the first time I watched Hostel, years after its release. When it first came out, everyone was thoroughly disgusted and grossed out by the completely over-the-top gore, violence, and nudity, marking it as probably the best example at that time of the "torture porn" genre. I vowed never to see it since there really was no need. Then, one day, in a moment of weakness I figured what the hell and I watched it. Honestly, I didn't find it to be so bad. Maybe I'm just jaded or immune to graphic violence in movies these days but the rather obviously fake torture in Hostel didn't effect me. And while the plot of the movie was reeeally stupid, I still couldn't help hating myself for actually enjoying the kind of Grindhouse sentimentality this movie held.

So sure enough, years later another movie comes out trying to top all others as the most disgusting movie ever released. However, unlike Hostel, the Human Centipede falls flat in just about every way, including the gross out factor. Once you've heard what the Human Centipede is actually about, you've pretty much already gotten through the worst of it. In some ways, hearing about and imagining it is actually far worse than what they actually show. Though there are still certainly some very cringe worthy moments.

So yes, it was disgusting. But frankly, it's no worse than Saw or Hostel or any other entry in the torture porn genre. It certainly has a different concept to it which makes it more revolting, but I was actually shocked when I realized that the bandages covering the really disgusting parts of the centipede weren't going away. I really expected them to go that far from what I had heard, but thankfully it spared us the really gruesome bits.

As to the rest of the movie beyond its shock value, there's really nothing there. Dieter Laser is genuinely terrifying as the doctor, and the asian man at the front has his moments (though most are surprisingly humorous). But the two "actresses" really do seem like they were just hired out of a porno, along with the cops. The story itself is expectedly very poorly written, with very bad dialogue, many many so bad it's funny moments, and enough head-desk moments to give you a concussion without a desk.

In short, there is nothing redeeming about this movie besides Dieter Laser, and that's only because he has one of the most terrifying faces I've ever seen on a person. If your own sensibilities didn't tell you already to stay far far away from this movie, and you're even a little curious about seeing it, just walk away. This movie is all about the shock value, and if you already know what it's about, then the shock is gone.

The Human Centipede gets a 1/10.