E3 2012: Ubisoft

I love Ubisoft, and always look forward to their E3 conference.  Not really because of their game lineup or anything like that, but because you can always look to Ubisoft to deliver 2 things: snark, and weirdness.  Two years ago they had the king of all snark, Joel McHale, under rehearsed and mobbed by laser tag.  Last year, they had the king of all douchebaggery, Mr. Caffeine, alongside awkward French Shakespeare and stomping on Rabbids.  So this time they brought in Aisha Tyler for the snark and Tobuscus backstage for the weird.  Count me in.

First up, not to be outdone by Microsoft and their impromptu Usher performance for Dance Central 3, Ubisoft trots out three pairs of dancers showing off 3 sets of some less impressive dance moves from Just Dance 4 (like the "Wild Wild West"...*shudder*) in really unflattering clothes (I seriously cannot understand high-waisted shorts) until they all join together and Flo Rida takes the stage and puts Usher to shame.  It was short, sweet, and packed a way bigger punch.  So this is where we get to meet Aisha Tyler, who has been around the TV hosting biz for a while and who proceeds to molest and hit on Flo Rida, make a joke about how all women are a little bit gay and she and the dancers are going to "hug it out backstage", chide Tobuscus for stumbling over his lines, and introduce Farcry 3.  God I love Ubisoft.

Anyways, FarGODDAMNWTF?Cry 3.  Last year they showed off a wholly impressive trailer with lush visuals and the introduction of the lead villain, who looked amazingly insane.  Well, guess what.  YOU ARE HIM.  AND HE IS YOU.  WHAAAAAAAT?  This demo not only brought back the delicious graphics, but introduced the fact that you are insane, and though it isn't explicitly stated, it appears to be pretty clear that the lead villain is a split personality.  Which is AWESOME.  Having never played Farcry 1 and hearing a pretty universal "meh" about 2, I wasn't too invested in 3, but after that trailer...holy crap do I want to know more.  As one last "you're damn right this is going to be amazing", Tobuscus butts in with a question from a fan, asking how much there will be to explore.  And while the dev didn't let any numbers fly, he did say there will be an entire archipelago of islands to explore, along with some hallucinatory levels.  Rock on.

Next is the official trailer for Splinter Cell: Blacklist, along with the revelation that (surprise surprise) co-op will be back.

Brief trailer for Marvel Avengers: Battle for Earth, which only had WiiU and Kinect logos on it.  Since they released literally no details about it beyond that, who knows exactly what this game is going to be besides the fact that it will draw on all Marvel entities including X-Men and Spider Man.

Ubisoft is also apparently excited for the WiiU since they're all about being different, and to lead off their development slate for it they brought out Rayman: Legends.  Boasting the ability for 5 player co-op, which sounds insane, the person using the WiiU controller had a little zippy fairy-like character that could cut ropes and things and was also in charge of an almost rhythm-game-like section.  Nothing sold me on it, but if you're going to get a WiiU Rayman: Legends does look to make good use of the tech.  After the demo they also showed off their WiiU lineup, including an M-rated FPS zombie game called ZombiU, a Rabbids game because they have to, Just Dance 4 and Your Shape: Fitness Evolved which will involve the controller...somehow, but most importantly of all...Assassin's Creed 3.

And oooooh man AC3.  Finally, FINALLY, we get to see some gameplay, and just what it's like to traverse trees, dual wield, and experience Connor's more fluid/on-the-move style of assassination.  Admittedly even I, who have loved the series from the start, was a little skeptical after the rehashed and quite average Revelations.  But they full on proved that this game has been in development ever since AC2 and has been separate from Brotherhood and Revelations.  It looks unique, creative, and an astounding amount of fun to play.  No just adding new gimmicks to a stale game here, they went back to the drawing board for a completely new experience.  Couldn't be more impressed or hyped about this game.

With the repeated unable-to-tell-if-its-scripted-or-not butting in of Tobuscus and Aisha getting pissed about it, it only made sense to have a battle for hosting rights via Shootmania, the next iteration of their free-to-play and create service.  Each had a team of 3 top-tier competitive gamers representing them in a game where it was 3 on 1, but the 1 had a railgun with instant kill while the other team had to land 2 hits on them to kill them.  It had a very Unreal Tournament vibe in a very very early stage of development.  And then, despite Toby's team winning he still gets sent backstage again.  Ah well.  After that they release a bunch of praise they've received for their other free to play franchises like Ghost Recon Online and The Settlers Online.

Then, to me, the greatest surprise of the show so far: Watch Dogs.  It starts with a rather disheartening "Big Brother Is Watching" kind of set-up talking about how all data is connected and there are now these giant computer systems that track that data and use it to know anything and everything there is to know about you so that big corporations can use that information as power essentially.  It was frankly all a little too real-sounding to get me excited for what they were about to show, but then they came out and basically said, "Okay, based on that, what if you could hack it all?  What would you do with that power?"  And then they started the demo and holycrapballs it looked amazing.  We first take control of this unassuming looking man walking down the street, with a minimap on the side that screams "open-world game".  As he walks by people little icons float above their heads, showing you the option to hack cellphones and listen in on conversations among other things.  When you reach your destination, some sort of club with a big line outside, you pull out this device and send out a jamming signal, which causes the bouncer to wander around looking for a signal, opening up the opportunity to slip inside.  As you walk around you start to hear comments that let you know you are known to these people, and not very welcome.  You talk to a "friend" of yours who gives you a gun once he hears that you're after the guy running this little venue, and you reveal to him you want to be seen, to lure him here.  Next you're tasked with finding an associate of the baddie to make sure he's coming.  Pulling up another option, you scroll around the room, seeing the names and relevant data for basically everyone there.  You finally find his accomplice, hack the phone call, and hear that he's on his way, and that security is on your tail.  A man starts approaching and you see a red bar next to him that indicates "chance of aggression", so you run the other way only to run into another thug, who you proceed to beat the crap out of with a baton.  Exiting out the door you come upon the nearest intersection, hack the traffic lights, and turn them all green as the baddie approaches in his car.  One giant crash later, goons are suddenly shooting at you and you make your way around the accident, taking them out and inching closer to the baddie's crashed car.  Smashing the window and pulling him out, you tell him you need him to send a message...before shooting him.  Suddenly it pulls back to reveal that helicopters and all sorts of trouble are heading your way...though it's from the perspective of this mysterious figure on a roof...who you then take control of, and are tasked with protecting the former main character along with several other operatives.  End of demo.  I was BLOWN AWAY.  In just a few minutes they showed off some amazing potential for missions, abilities, plot, and repeated playthroughs.  Keep your eyes out for this one ladies and gents, my guess is you're looking at the next big IP.

And with that Ubisoft is done.  Not as much weirdness this time around, but I can't complain what with all the amazing stuff they showed off.  Now on to the final two conferences from the big contenders...